Monday, October 5, 2009


8 yrs old

Last month we chose to make the heart retching decision to have Zilba put down. It was a strange thing to go through all around. Chad was for sure ready way before I was and I thank him to this day for letting me be the one to make the final decision that it was time. I think Chad just knew that he would never win that battle. So like any good husband, he sat back and let me come around to when I was ready.

We got Zilba in May 2001. He was only 6 weeks old. Chad and I instantly fell in love with this tiny furry grey...steel blue eyed puppy. From that moment I knew Zilba was meant to be our dog and also fill two very important voids in my life. That Zilba came through with flying colors. At that time in 2001 I was feeling the baby itch...pretty bad! But we weren't quite ready to start a family. My open adoption with Chiara and the Muratore's was still so new and fresh and I was just needing something to hold onto. Zilba was the prefect fit, for all my desires. He became MY dog in no time.

As the years when on Zilba had many health issues from very sensitive skin, to ear infections which would turn into hematoma's. I think he got around 10 hematoma's in his life time. He seemed to also have boarder-line separation anxiety, which was no fun to deal with.

In Nov 2007 Zilba bit Charli on the face, and ever since then our trust was lost with him, around Charli. From that point on he was never allowed around Charli unless we were in the room with him. Otherwise he was kept away from her or any children when in our house. That was very stressful and caused Chad and I to always have our guard up and be on alert at all times.

So this last Sep. Zilba got another ear infection which caused a hematoma and I just knew in my gut that it was time. Chad and I had talked about our options with Zilba and both of us felt exhaused by him overall. It seemed to be never ending with Zilba. I also started to emotionally detach myself from him this last year, knowing in the back of my mind that this day was coming sooner that I would probably like. So we decided that we would have our vet put him down. I told Chad that I couldn't take Zilba in and hoped that he could step up. And of course he did. I was very emotional for about 2 days leading up to the day, Chad seemed fine until it was time for him to actually take Zilba. I was go relieved to see Chad show some emotion around this. It made me feel like I was not alone in this decision.

Overall I know we made the right decision. It was not easy by any means but I know that Zilba is relieved of his medical issues, we are relieved financially, and we have now been able to really connect with Leia (Zilba's daughter) whom we absolutely love! Leia is such a great dog and we are really enjoying being a one dog family.

Zilba I hope you have forgiven us for sending you to doggy heaven sooner than you probably planned...but I hope you have found your brother Will, and I hope he is being nice to you up there. We miss you and love you.